Dear Tara and Reed - I am very, very sorry (and sad)

It is no longer possible for me not to express my deepest true feelings. Life is not easy. Put on your helmets and listen to what I have to say for your long-term good.

The purpose of this communication is primarily to say I am sorry, ask for your forgiveness, and make my best effort to pick up the broken pieces of our relationship and try to put them back together as best I can. I would like to believe that there is one word that motivates me here, and that is love. But we shall see. I have included Mom in this correspondence because she is part of this story, and she deserves to hear what I say so she can deal with it however she wishes. One thing I believe in very strongly is everyone has the right to be accessible to be themselves and make their own choices, as long as you don’t infringe on the rights of others. That is why the tagline of Cryptonite is ‘Take Back the Power,’ and I am dedicating the rest of my professional life to championing the next-generation innovations and entrepreneurial companies that will lead to a more free, private, secure, and efficient world.

As you know, I express myself boldly as an editorialist, trying to stick to Socratic logic to make my points and support my conclusions. This story is different, as it is very personal and, I admit, necessary for me therapeutically, So I’m not even sure where this is all going to go. One thing I know for sure is it won’t be without flaws—my flaws—so please take it as it is and understand that I know my story is not the only story. We all have our own stories, and each needs to be affirmed and respected. I will also forever be open to hearing your stories—which I cherish and appreciate as well.

In addition to the hope of bringing us back together in love, I also admit that part of this is about sharing with you how one can build a personal relationship with God, who created us and live a happy life. This is my number one duty as your father. Skipping a little bit ahead, I can say that despite all the challenges and disappointments in life, while there have definitely been times of sadness, I have never once, for one nanosecond, lost my faith and hope in God or you or myself. The reward for faith in God is true joy. Within the Bible, the phrase ‘be not afraid’ appears 365 times—one for each day of the year—this is not a coincidence. If your faith in God is strong, you will live with less fear and can confront the chaos of life and still have a sense that ‘All is well.’ This, I promise.

“As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete.’

—Jesus of Nazareth

The current journey

This summer and early fall have been hectic (and exciting) as we are finally starting to publicly roll out the Cryptonite brand and products we have been working on over the past few years. I have been working seven days a week to get in the rhythm of producing so I can get back to a tremendous I am so grateful to see that both Tara and Reed have been at least clicking on our Crytonite Weekly Rap and other weekly features, giving both of you a 5-star rating in our system which signifies our most loyal members :))

The cross-media brand we have been developing is very complex. It combines online publishing, private company and VC research, live video programming, live events, an online business social network, and our cryptocurrency and NFT rewards, as outlined in more detail below.

So far, the power of the Crytonite Weekly Rap now reaches close to 450,000 entrepreneurs and venture investors since our launch in early June, and our audience is growing at a tremendous rate—with an increase of 166,000 in just the last 30 days. We expect this number will top 1 million over the next six months. This growth has been at a much faster rate than we projected and bodes very well for the potential of our brand.

Our unique viewer stats for September.

About the Cryptonite Brand

Cryptonite Weekly Rap: Twice-a-week news and features e-letter covering the top innovation industry companies and trends distributed to over one million global Silicon Valley insiders and aspiring entrepreneurs.

Cryptonite Live!: Live video programming starting with SV OGs with Drape & Perk and weekly Founder’s Pitch. Cryptonite Live! will also cover the top global events, including Cryptonite’s annual Summit @ Stanford, where the Cryptonite 300 top private companies are honored.

Cryptonite 300 top Web3 companies: Our annual competition of the top private blockchain, AI, and metaverse companies pioneering Web3 and offering the best equity investment ROI potential in the global Silicon Valley.

Annual Cryptonite Summit @ Stanford: Every summer, we convene the Cryptonite Society to present and debate top trends in Web3, Greentech, and life sciences innovation and honor The Cryptonite 300 top company winners.

Cryptonite: A Web3 network (in final development) offering hand-curated daily news, original editorials, and video features, a Reddit-style community chat, subject-focused Tribes, and a robust professional and friendship social network. The Cryptonite network will driven by our own cryptocurrency call the Cryptonite PRO coin (CPRO) and NFT rewards.

Voting Block USA: A non-partisan, non-profit project dedicated to educating the public on how Web3 innovation (including blockchain, AI, crypto, and metaverse) can help create a more private, secure, and efficient public sector.

screen shots of Lubin, Moritz, alex b. brad g

Apparently, GooGoogle's search competitor to chatGBT called Bard is impressed with our work as well, as one of Kryptonite's members just sent me this email. 😎🤙🏼 I find this a bit funny. Still, I was impressed that Bard knew details that I didn’t know were on the Internet about tokens and equity we were granted early on in 3 of the top 10 most successful blockchain companies in the world. But since people are increasingly turning to AI bots for research, it is great to see that Bard (who weirdly speaks in the first person as if human) is on the Cryptonite team and is helping us develop new business 🤣🤣🤣

We can now prove, without a doubt, that we are reaching the top global Silicon Valley—influencers and building a compelling and powerful brand position in the most lucrative market on the planet. We are just at the very beginning of this amazing journey, and as with the laws of physics, as long as we stay focused, work hard, and deliver, things are only going to increasingly accelerate.

The hidden secrets to express my profound faith and love for the God who created all of us.

Above is the new intro to our Cryptonite Live! Webcast, which includes an artist simulation of the Big Bang moment an estimated 13.8 billion years ago when the universe began as a tiny, dense fireball that exploded. Most astronomers today believe in the Big Bang theory (first developed in 1931 by Georges Lemaître, a Belgian cosmologist and Catholic priest) to explain how the universe was created, but how the explosion remains a mystery to many.

For devout Catholics, this is not a mystery because we believe in the Book of Genesis.

Many hidden mystical secrets designed into whatever I have created in my life as my way of reaffirming my love for the one true God who created me

Logo

Another secret is what I write at the top left and right of every one of my daily notebook pages, where I create to-do lists, write down new creative ideas so I won’t forget them, and make sketches for my artists to turn into beautiful designs that give all our productions our distinct creative edge. At the top left, I write ‘Trust Jesus,’ which I stole from the Nobel Peace Prize-winning Saint Mother Teresa, whom I saw in person when I was 21 in San Francisco when she came to help those dying of AIDS when the epidemic first broke out in the gay community. Mother Teresa said in her speech that whenever someone asks her the key to a happy life, she responds, ‘Trust Jesus.’ On the top right side of the page, I write ‘God’s work,’ which I stole from another saint, Pope John Paul II (whom I have met and knelt in front of and kissed his ring like a good Catholic boy), because he

The passive-resistor

I confess I am not a perfect person, and I have many conflicting emotions that cause me to act in passive-aggressive ways that are dysfunctional, which I need to work hard to be mindful of and try to avoid.

I believe I was lied to, betrayed, and treated with a lack of the dignity we all deserve.

The prayer I say three times a day

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, and our Guardian Angels pray for Julie, Kristin, Emily, Tara and Reed, and all our families and friends that we may keep our hearts open to the love and forgiveness of your Son and our Savior Jesus Christ now and at the hour of death. Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.

I learned to put all my children into the hands of Mother Mary from my Mother, who did the same for all her children, all of whom were not perfect but ended up with a profound faith in God. Something I hope and pray for my children, for I believe without a doubt and based upon my many experiences all over the world, there is no true happiness in life without having an intimate personal faith and relationship with the God who created us for Himself, even before we were born into this world, and praying, thanking, and glorifying Him.

I feel loved by everyone except the people most important to me.

Here is my paradox. On one hand, I feel like the most loved person on the planet. I have friends I have known all my life that I communicate with frequently, and still love and even invest in me in spite of knowing my flaws and weaknesses. I have lived within a few square miles all my life, and I can go anywhere without bumping into people I know who greet me with affection and a good spirit.

I feel loved by many people in my adopted village in Santa Teresa who are restaurant owners and servers, sore owners, vendors at the farmers’ market, ATV renters, my dentist is there, Airbnb people, and many locals I have met along the way, all of whom express great love and affection for me when I return, and keep up with me when I have away.

I feel love for the thousands of entrepreneurs and investors, some of whom have followed me for 40 years, attended my events, read my stuff, and thanked and encouraged me along the way. Let’s see it: Cryptonite could not have attracted the support of almost 500,000 people in just four months without my core loyal base, who have stuck with me all along the way.

These are just a few of the many things I would love to share with you and teach you if only you would forgive me and show the desire to be with me and love me.

With God, all can be well—all is well.

Again, my faith and life have taught me there is no true happiness without a relationship with our Creator and honoring and thanking Him for his commitment and love for us by showing love and commitment to each other. Otherwise, life will lead you to a series of broken relationships, divorce, despair, and loneliness. Simply put, this is why I believe the marriage to your Mother did not last because we did not share this same value system and commitment to God.

For me, when you stand in front of God with genuine sincerity and say, "In” the name of God, I take you to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. This is my solemn vow,’ that is life's sacred commitment outside of our commitment to God. The Church has taught me that this commitment that is bigger than either individual. If you do think of it this way, then you run the risk that one or both will put their selfish desires above the marriage, and that is why over 50 percent of marriages today end in divorce. To break that Holy vow leads to sadness and heartbreak for all involved; you can not avoid it.

At least for me, my heart will always be broken, and I am so very sorry to have broken both of your hearts as well. I let you both down. I am so very, very, very sorry, and trust me, I am weeping with shame as I type these words. I have cried dozens of times, replaying the day we told you we were getting divorced, and I don’t expect that ever to change. This is a cross I must bear for the rest of my life.

The only thing left I can do now is pray to God for peace and at least keep the commitment that I would lay down my life for both of you any second of any day. I also must continue to pray that you learn from this experience, which was entirely out of your control, and find a good man and a good woman whom you share values with, and break this cycle of breached commitments. You are both good kids, and I know you can do it. Trust that God loves us unconditionally, and if we return His commitment—despite all the chaos—All can be well, and all is well.

When we were married, we used to go to Jennifer, and she gave us some sage advice. She said, try to tell each other every day, ‘I love and appreciate you.’ I think about that wisdom often and how much I still very much love and appreciate Mom for all the same reasons that both of you do. In fact, I just expressed this sentiment to Mom on her last birthday.

Since I was little, God has given me the sense that I was going to live long because He has lots of work for me to do. I believe it will be true, and a big part of it is because Mom taught me so much about the pura vida lifestyle and introduced me to Dr. Frank Lipman, author of my health bible, Revive. As a result, I very rarely drink alcohol, don’t smoke weed, do not eat sugar, gluten, or cow dairy, and have learned to ‘surf the urge.’ I also do yin yoga every morning and try to walk 10,000 steps a day. So you all are going to have to put up with me for another 40 years. 🙃 As it is, both my grandparents on my Mom’s sMom'sived until they were 99, so I can make it to 105. As it is, they are projecting that due to advancements in 3D organs and other advancements, your generation could live to 125.

I also read the Catholic readings—usually one from the Old Testament, the Psalms, and then the gospel. I gain strength from reading the Word of God and the fact that there are 1.2 billion Catholics around the world reading these same scriptures or hearing them at daily Mass. This communion of faith and the power you receive from it is one of the greatest gifts of the Church.

I also read Dr. Lipman's. newsletter religiously, share three pieces of his advice and knowledge every week at the bottom of the Cryptonite Weekly Rap and put links back to his website to promote good health.

The point here is if we keep JennifeJennifer's advice in mind and tell each other and the others we love that we ‘love and appreciate’ them,’ the world would be a better place. So please trust that I still do love and appreciate Mom, pray for her happiness and well-being, and think of her daily when I do the things she taught me, and I would still lay down my life for her, too. She deserves that commitment from me as the Mother of two of my beautiful children. And, according to the Church (because my first marriage was annulled), she is the only woman I have ever married and ever will, and I still feel very blessed about all that. All is truly well.

It’s for me to

I firmly believe that

I had to fight two narratives. I fought by text. I stood up for myself, and I also stood up for Gabriel, who I feel was even more deeply maligned and betrayed than me.

To put your personal business out on the street is simply wrong; it is a sin, and it is a sign of profound insecurity. If you feel this temptation, you must ask yourself—What am I trying to prove?

Personality test

Some people who may have listened to these narratives at the time might have thought I was down and out. But that was never the case. Not even close. I was never worried because I knew it was all just part of God’s drawing me closer to Him to teach me things I needed to know in order to be a better man.

I once shared with Reed the results of a personality test. I was in the top 1% - on the one question that mattered most to me. And I think is a testimonial to my faith.

In the end, I proved these narratives and the people who spread and believed them were wrong. If they don’t do that, they can look at my community numbers, and they can ask Bard. 😎

Oh, I went to Doug Leone along the way and learned a couple of things. One that he said the reason that Chris And is not talking to me is because he felt that your Mom did not love me, and it was hard to witness. She, of course, is very bright, And she was right. The second thing that I learned was Mom had called him and Patty to dig dirt up on me for our divorce. I can’t scan why she wasn't, but that hurt me very deeply because she knows more than anybody how sad that situation is for me.

It also confirmed what Kristin and my instinct have always been in that it is true. Mom never truly we have loved me.

“Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

—Jesus of Nazareth, Matthew 19:4–6

I fought for my marriage then, not because I felt Mom was in love with me, but because I had made the marriage commitment to her, and ever the optimist who inspires people for a living, I thought I could show her I was a good man worthy of her love. Sadly, the one person I have never been able to inspire is Mom. But I did try, and I tried very hard in spite of the fact I was living with a woman who never hugged me, never hung out with me on our beautiful coach, rarely ever told me she loved me, and only did, in my opinion, because her guru Jeniffer said to her that was what’s supposed. I also went to countless counseling sessions, where the agenda was always the same. It was always about how unhappy Mom was and why I was the source of all her unhappiness.

Let me pause here for a moment and share with you both what I believe is one of the most essential principles in life. No one has the power to make you happy or unhappy. Your happiness must be found within. It comes from being in communion with the one true God who created you and loves you unconditionally. If you stake your happiness on another imperfect human being, you will never be happy. I used to tell Mom all the time, ‘I ‘m happy; if you are unhappy, it is not on me.’ No one should accept that kind of responsibility because it is impossible to deliver on.

If you need proof of how hard I tried, ask Mom to show you the ‘Dear John’ letter she handed me the day before my birthday after I came home and found her gone after I took Reed to school and had rented another house without telling me. I hope she shares it with you—I still have a copy of it—but. It’s here to share. I keep it because it is the most beautiful letter anyone has ever written me. It was like an angel came down for a moment and opened her eyes and heart so she remembered all the ways I supported and inspired her to become the kind of person she wanted to be when others did not, including her parents. She concluded her letter by saying that this issue was we ‘didn’t share the same values,’ which is exactly right. The irony of that letter to me was that all the great things she graciously thanked me for doing for her in her beautiful letter were a product of my values system. So it begged the question of what was so wrong with my values if she enjoyed the benefit of their fruit, and how were values the better, more enlightened path?

To this day, I have no idea what Mom’s values are; all I know is the fruit of these values have taken my kids through two divorces and broken tender hearts and didn’t seem to sadden her in the least—she just went on with her ‘enlightened’ life. I am sorry to say this about Mom, but if I must confront my demons, then it might be good for her to be the same. I didn’t get to know Michael well, but he was always lovely to me and kind to you guys, so at a minimum, he deserves to be treated with dignity. I knew something was up when he requested to follow me on Instagram. We had a brief exchange where he expressed he felt heartlessly discarded. All I could say is I know the feeling.

Not all relationships work out, but we all should strive to show compassion. The world does not just revolve around us and what we want. Other people have hearts and feelings, too, and they need to be honored and emphasized. Especially for those you have committed to at whatever level.

Suppose I was willing to give Mom money that was legally mine at the time of the divorce, assuming her tax liability. In that case, I everyone can count on me to pay her back if I get Cryptonite to a highly profitable, recession-proof media brand.

Have I not provided support for six years? Yes. Could you call me a ‘deadbeat dad’? Yes. So, the reasonable question is if I am such a capable and talented man. I was supported by other kids, and went the extra mile by paying their tuition at Menlo, both their first two years at Duke and Cornell, and paying Emily’s even more than I paid for Julie and Kristin, what the fuck is up?

I am not going to make excuses or justify my here, but I will share with you my thought process,

Now, could Mom ‘put me in jail’ like she so often has reminded me? Theoretically, yes, because the money I paid her was part of our divorce deal, so the law would say that does count. But if you look at the math in terms of money, I gave to Mom that I diddidn'tve too (and I think very few people in the world in my position would have given her that money and take over her liability on the taxes), I did pay my child support. If she denies that I didn't give her this money or I didn't take on her share of our tax debt, it’s just not true because I can show you the divorce documents against California Family law and prove it. This is not how I intended it to be, as I intended to keep paying on top of what I gave here but for a variety of

Dirk bragged he was worth $100 million,

Does it mean anything if you have $6 billion in your pocket and a 25,000-square-foot house in Los Altos Hills? It’s vanity, and it doesn't mean happiness.

You could justly ask the question, why is God so good? Why don't my children talk to me?

Trust me that is a record that plays in my head every day. The one thing that my kids have in common, as far as I can tell, is that they do have a personal relationship with the one true God. If they did, they would understand the 10 Commandments, one of which is to honor your father and your Mother. It’s Kim Operating us to like our Mother and father and agree with the actions and lifestyle of our Mother and father. Still, without your father, you would not be on earth, and psychologically, your life would be disordered without that connection.

Life is a mystery, and God for us is a mystery, so I do doubt why, exactly, as far as I can tell, none of my children have a personal relationship with the one true God. As I noted above, I operate in life with mystical secrets—the number three stands for the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Maybe God is just that my only job in life for my children is to pray for them. Because when I look at all the people that surround them, and I dondon'tan to be cynical, but maybe I’m the only one on this earth praying for you to the one true God. Perhaps that's what this is all about. I dondon'tow.

What I do know is if any of my children do make that leap of faith one day, one of the first things that God will tell them is to visit their father. He will say unblock his phone number except for his invitation to follow you on Instagram. Show him some love because his father Lee's love for you is a reflection of my fatherly love for all my children.

Part of the irony here is I thought that Julie would be born. It would be so easy at 21, like so many people do, to have an abortion and put it behind you. But it was my faith in God that made that happen, and in order to make it happen, I had to marry a woman I hardly knew—a similar story there with Emily. There there's a story that it was a time in our marriage before you were born that I thought to keep our marriage together, and that was also a part of my faith in God and my desire to honor the commitment to marriage I made in front of him. I did this evening even though I knew deep in my heart that Mom would eventually leave me. But if I had hadn't that fight, you wouldn't be here on earth today. I’vI'veught. Of course, your being here was all part of God, and it was never at risk, but I think you can see what I’m about.

And so I’ll be praying and hoping for leaps of faith because that's ultimately the only thing that is going to reconnect me with my kids. And I will keep praying patiently with faith until that happens.

In conclusion, I would ask you to do one thing. Find a quiet place in nature or your room and say hey, if there is a God out there, the one that my father is talking about, show me a sign.’ And if you ask that question with humility and goodwill in your soul, he will show you a sign. And then all my prayers will be answered, and you will find your way back to your father on earth as well.

At that point in my life, I made a concerted effort to strip myself down, materially, to the most straightforward person I could be so I could start the rebuilding process. Part of this time, I slept in my car. I didn’t have to because I have a lot of friends that would have taken me in. Still, I wanted to go to the restaurant Spect. I see that as just one more part of God‘s plan. Because of that experience, I have a special connection with homeless people. That experience led me to write, perhaps, the most crucial post in my life about ending the war on drugs. In essence, it’s a calling for Ross to put together a plan and a strategy to help all the drug-addicted, mentally disabled people in our cities and give them a chance for a new life. When I was living in Medellin, I spent hours sitting in the park at night with Venezuelan refugees, who made money by breakdancing during red lights.

“Seeking the face of God in everything, everyone, all the time, and his hand in every happening; This is what it means to be contemplative in the heart of the world. Seeing and adoring the presence of Jesus, especially in the lowly appearance of bread, and in the distressing disguise of the poor.”

—Saint Mother Teresa

I told at least Reed that when kids turn about 15, and usually until they go away to college, they really do not care much about talking to their parents; part of it is because, by that point, they think they know more than their parents. In reality, it is very typical’s just the beginning of separating from their parents and establishing their own unique identities. I also told Reed at that stage, I probably won’t talk to you much because I don’t like conflict, and I knew Mom was better equipped to fight those battles and keep you in line. As as far as I can see, she did an A+ job at it, and I will be eternally grateful for how well she has taken care of you. She’s a perfect boss 💪🏼👩🏽.

Picking up the pieces

If you have made it this far, I am very thankful. This is my story, and I want to hear yours—best in person. It will be like going to Confession, where you can tell me the times you felt un.

When Jesus meets his mother Mary while he is carrying his cross. Jesus has just fallen. He is barely recognizable because of his bruised and bloodied face. His mother kneels beside him. She is stricken with horror at his appearance, her heart pierced by the sword of sorrow. Yet in that moment he says quietly to her: “See, mother, I make all things new.”

Faith in God takes your spirit outside the system, away from what others might think, how many likes you get on IG, and whether or not you are popular in school.

You won’t find complete joy in life if you do not have a relationship with your Mother or me. I am not saying this for me; this is one of the 10 Commandments.

In conclusion, I am ready to do whatever to put back the pieces. Whether you both want to block my phone, not communicate with me, and not go back to the loving relationships we once had is up to you. It is the right thing for you to do because we are all called on to honor our parents, and separate from my desires, I do not think anyone can find true happiness without a relationships with a parent because there will always be an empty spot in your heart. In spite of my differences in values from your Mom, in many ways, she is the model of how to honor your parents. It was my experience that she was one of the best people I have known for staying in regular communication with her Mom and Dad, in spite of the fact she always saw herself as being a very different person from who they were. She disagreed with much of each’s behavior. Even when Grandma and Bob broke up, Mom kept up with Bob, and we would visit with him with Ginny.

I am willing to sit down and go through everything item by item and tell you I am sorry for all the times I made you feel unloved and abandoned by me—and take full responsibility for all my transgressions.

I am strong and optimistic, and I will fight to get us back togther in any way I can—if I can’t inspire you to help me make that happen- then I will just keep praying for you—3 times a day.

I am a maverick, i am different, i have always operated outside the system. On one hand Jesus said, ‘give into Ceasar (the head of the Roman Empire at the time that controlled Jerusalem) what is Ceasars,’ but on the other hand said, “and give unto God is what is God’s.’ When I look at the world, I have never just accepted that it as it is just because it is,’ I have always thought, ‘the world could be better, so let’s go out and change it for the better.’